Five Steps to Raising Confident Kids

Personal power is the self-belief and confidence tothem aware of it.
know that you are capable of anything you set your3. Correct their behaviour in a positive way, using
mind to. It means you feel good about yourself, andpositive language. For example, rather than saying
that you do not rely upon others’ opinions to“no, that’s wrong”, ask him “what
feel good about yourself. Such a strength iscould you have done better?” This way, rather
something we all want our children to have.than focussing on what’s wrong and drawing his
Our children are indeed born with such qualities. Theyattention to the idea that there’s something
believe they can do anything, and won’t give upwrong, you are getting him to learn from it and focus
until they do, or get what they want. Unfortunatelyon a new possibility of behaviour.
though, through life they pick up messages to the4. Avoid negative labelling. Language is very powerful.
contrary. But there are ways that parents can teachWhat we say in front of our children matters.
their children and empower them to have thePhrases such as ‘she’s so…..’, ‘he
confidence to try new things and focus on theircan’t…..’ are a form of label, and imply that
abilities rather than their failures:-that’s the way they are and they won’t
1. Lead by example. Our actions as parents are sochange. . Using terms such as ‘bad boy’,
powerful. Our children watch our every move. We‘silly’, ‘stupid’ is giving them labels,
cannot be telling our children what to do, if we doand kids wear such labels. Remember, it is not your
not follow our own rules. In fact, I would suggestchild who’s silly, it’s their behaviour, and you
that, in many things, children can learn perfectly justcan teach them just as well through positive language
through watching us, rather than us telling themrather than negative.
instructions. For example, as a child I would stand and5. Be mindful of what you say about your children. A
watch my grandmother cooking. She never gave mecomment about a child to another adult within the
lessons, yet when it was the time for me to startchild’s earshot is even much more powerful than
cooking, I knew what to do. Language is not thea comment to the child himself. So if you’re
medium through which children learn.talking about your child, make sure it’s a positive,
2. Pope John XXIII said “See everything,endearing comment!
overlook a lot, correct a little”.Parents, being the role models, are in the best
Look for the best in your kids. Much that we try, itposition to empower their kids to have the skills for
does seem that we have a tendency to seesuccess. It’s often the simple, everyday
what’s wrong with something rather thancommunication in our relationships that can make
what’s right, like the one stray sock in ansuch a difference to encouraging our kids to be
otherwise tidy bedroom. Whatever your kids are upconfident, courageous and happy.
to, look for what’s good about them, and make